Monday, February 16, 2009

Getting Rid of the Dimmer Switch - Work-Life Balance

This past fall, I was in the midst of an assessment of the needs of clients when one of the managers made an interesting comment. Reflecting on the pace of work within its organization, said, "You know, there really is no time for me. I basically have only a slight change." Not a complaint, just a statement of fact. The more he thought about his comment, the more I came to realize how many people are trapped in the same sense of 24 / 7 work-induced mania. Some even develop a sense of personal pride in everything accessible they are.

A casual observer might conclude that this inability (or unwillingness) to separate from their work is simply a sign of the times we live in Blackberry. Maybe. But I wonder what this decline in the ability to disconnect from work could cost as families and as a society. I have more than a few clients and friends this link directly to "faint changing" the mindset of the marital and family distress, sleep problems, poor health habits, or a seemingly perpetual state of stress and anxiety.

Personally, I wonder what it is costing me and my family sometimes. Although you probably have more flexibility than most of the programming, that sense of urgency to make the final call, to get the proposal was submitted on website updates and / or send a message that is very much alive and well in my work DNA. There is rarely a moment when I feel "done" with everything related to the work. And even though I know better, I sometimes feel guilty for not working the last extra bit. This is not something I'm proud to admit or like!

It is extremely important to me that I regularly make available physically, mentally and emotionally for my wife and children. Exercise and other hobbies outside work are also important. Accordingly, I have used some techniques to help choose the process of disconnecting the end of the day. Here are a few that I'm very well:

New role, new clothes. No matter what I wear to work, my wife Kim reminded me a change of clothes when I walk in the door (or out of my home office) for dinner. There is something physically change my wardrobe to symbolically break the relationship.

Claiming the transition. Those who know me know that I am a loyal supporter of the affirmations and mental conditioning. Apart from personal experience, the latest research in the area of neural linguistics suggests that there is no behavior change "tools" which is more powerful. During the 10 minutes before switching roles at the dinner hour, my self-talk sounds something like this: "More and more, when I am with my children, I focus only on them. I realize that only the young for the blink of an eye and I feel great satisfaction to witness and be part of their young lives. " Sever the umbilical work. For me (and I'm far from perfect in this effort), this means turning off my cell phone, not opening the mail or check email, and physically close the door of my home office. Kim and the children often get my attention until after homework is done, the stories are told, and kissed the cheeks of good nights.

What do you think?

Based on some of the emails I receive from people at 9, 10 and until 11:00 pm some nights, I like to think I'm a little better than average in managing the demands of work and family. But I'm certainly not a professional. My children are only 6 and 4 years respectively, and I suspect that work and family life will have no easier as they get older.

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